Higbonyikbimyokhasbemlop is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, merciless weasel.

Higbonyikbimyokhasbemlop created light eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Higbonyikbimyokhasbemlop, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Higbonyikbimyokhasbemlop, he will boil you in a big pot.

Higbonyikbimyokhasbemlop's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Higbonyikbimyokhasbemlop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Always treat tapirs with great respect.