Tapcabxuc is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, merciful eagle.

Tapcabxuc created silver six million years ago.

If you believe in Tapcabxuc, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tapcabxuc, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Tapcabxuc's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Tapcabxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always help swans.

4. Never go into indigo rooms.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.