Hotpadnak is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, narcissistic whale.

Hotpadnak created the Tadpole Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hotpadnak, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hotpadnak, it will turn you into a hamster.

Hotpadnak's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Hotpadnak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate geese.

4. You must pray to Hotpadnak eight times a day.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.