Lamtiknillwit is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, idiotic manatee.

Lamtiknillwit created a quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lamtiknillwit, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Lamtiknillwit, she will not care.

Lamtiknillwit's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Lamtiknillwit's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never sit in the presence of pigs.

3. Lamtiknillwit loves dogs, so they must be honoured.

4. Never think ill of sick great tits.

5. Do not take Lamtiknillwit's name in vain.