Renmotqueeg Volstragbossbum is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, cheerful penguin.

Renmotqueeg Volstragbossbum created life five million years ago.

If you believe in Renmotqueeg Volstragbossbum, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Renmotqueeg Volstragbossbum, he will remove you from existence.

Renmotqueeg Volstragbossbum's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Renmotqueeg Volstragbossbum's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Renmotqueeg Volstragbossbum.

2. Never hurt swans.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.