Geparpnuljin is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, humorless donkey.

Geparpnuljin created dark energy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Geparpnuljin, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Geparpnuljin, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Geparpnuljin's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Geparpnuljin's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Geparpnuljin.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Do not wear lead on your body.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not covet oxen.