Wonjanfen is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, flying hydra.

Wonjanfen created the planet Venus six million years ago.

If you believe in Wonjanfen, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Wonjanfen, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Wonjanfen's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Wonjanfen's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt dogs.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not make images of living things.