Tapquillbif is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, boastful goblin.

Tapquillbif created the planet Saturn seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tapquillbif, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tapquillbif, she will turn you into a mole.

Tapquillbif's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Tapquillbif's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat apples.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Put Tapquillbif first in all things.

4. Do not trade with those who eat limes.

5. Tapquillbif must be the most important thing in your life.