Ripfobgabarn Kadpitjat is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, happy dolphin.

Ripfobgabarn Kadpitjat created viruses three billion years ago.

If you believe in Ripfobgabarn Kadpitjat, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Ripfobgabarn Kadpitjat, he will turn you into a tree.

Ripfobgabarn Kadpitjat's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Ripfobgabarn Kadpitjat's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. You must love Ripfobgabarn Kadpitjat.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never write about planets.