Quafcutveg Kanlargdad is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, ill-tempered hydra.

Quafcutveg Kanlargdad created energy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafcutveg Kanlargdad, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Quafcutveg Kanlargdad, it will destroy your home solar system.

Quafcutveg Kanlargdad's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Quafcutveg Kanlargdad's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never laugh near shrews.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate sheep.

5. Never paint your hands green.