Arndusshig is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, wise goblin.

Arndusshig created a Higgs boson seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arndusshig, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Arndusshig, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Arndusshig's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Arndusshig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Arndusshig.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never wear brown hats.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate horses.