Yoknakpon is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, overgenerous lion.

Yoknakpon created Europe five billion years ago.

If you believe in Yoknakpon, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Yoknakpon, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Yoknakpon's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Yoknakpon's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from purple snakes for they are unholy.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Feed all hungry sheep.

4. Never talk about cats.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yoknakpon.