Tonmanzogdab is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, self-confident mink.

Tonmanzogdab created Africa three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonmanzogdab, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tonmanzogdab, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tonmanzogdab's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Tonmanzogdab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Never think about cell theory.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not cook food in pots.