Dimkikyik is a god.

She takes the form of a small, unthoughtful guinea pig.

Dimkikyik created carbon three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dimkikyik, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dimkikyik, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Dimkikyik's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Dimkikyik's Holy Commandments

1. Dimkikyik must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not hurt geese.

3. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.