Zessratfasdan is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, ill-tempered naga.

Zessratfasdan created parasitic wasps six billion years ago.

If you believe in Zessratfasdan, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Zessratfasdan, she will remove you from existence.

Zessratfasdan's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Zessratfasdan's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never hurt goats.

3. Retreat if five monkeys approach from the west.

4. Never go into brown rooms.

5. Do not drink water in gray rooms.