Fabjinlam is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, merciless parrot.

Fabjinlam created humanity eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fabjinlam, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fabjinlam, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Fabjinlam's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Fabjinlam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Always treat tapirs with great respect.

4. Never feed cherries to shrews while wearing red shoes.

5. Do not stand on grass.