Vonklenpaddobmon is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, unsympathetic eagle.

Vonklenpaddobmon created snails nine million years ago.

If you believe in Vonklenpaddobmon, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Vonklenpaddobmon, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Vonklenpaddobmon's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Vonklenpaddobmon's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never bounce in the presence of tortoises.

3. Retreat if eight porpoises approach from the east.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate bats.