Nutvonkrak is a god.

It takes the form of a large, ruthless lion.

Nutvonkrak created carbon four million years ago.

If you believe in Nutvonkrak, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Nutvonkrak, it will turn you into a tree.

Nutvonkrak's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Nutvonkrak's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of whales.

2. Do not take Nutvonkrak's name in vain.

3. Do not eat bread.

4. Do not wear violet clothing.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.