Barnboplap is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, omniscient clam.

Barnboplap created the Small Magellanic Cloud two billion years ago.

If you believe in Barnboplap, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Barnboplap, he will turn you into a dog.

Barnboplap's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Barnboplap's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at nebulae.

2. Shrews are not to be trusted.

3. Never mention otters.

4. Always help tapirs in need.

5. Worship no other gods but Barnboplap.