Taljadsab is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, fussy tortoise.

Taljadsab created the Cigar Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Taljadsab, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Taljadsab, he will turn you into a worm.

Taljadsab's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Taljadsab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never think about amino acids.

4. You must love Taljadsab.

5. Fast once a month.