Mitflankan is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, ill-tempered cat.

Mitflankan created humanity two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mitflankan, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mitflankan, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Mitflankan's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Mitflankan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about peanuts.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Hide from white mice for they are unholy.

5. Respect your elders.