Loophoncen is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, wise walrus.

Loophoncen created an atom five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Loophoncen, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Loophoncen, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Loophoncen's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Loophoncen's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never eat carrots.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tapirs.