Catbodquambat is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, conceited lizard.

Catbodquambat created humanity three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Catbodquambat, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Catbodquambat, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Catbodquambat's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Catbodquambat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Catbodquambat.

4. Never mention hamsters.

5. Do not stand on grass.