Wapsadbif is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, kind faun.

Wapsadbif created carbon seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wapsadbif, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Wapsadbif, she will think nothing of it.

Wapsadbif's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Wapsadbif's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Never paint your feet white.

5. Wapsadbif loves grasshopers, so they must be respected.