Parkyartten Begjigciss is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, generous fly.

Parkyartten Begjigciss created humanity nine million years ago.

If you believe in Parkyartten Begjigciss, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Parkyartten Begjigciss, it will send you a sign.

Parkyartten Begjigciss' most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Parkyartten Begjigciss' Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat bananas.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Sheep are not to be trusted.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never look at moons.