Yikgilcud is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, irritating guinea pig.

Yikgilcud created the planet Mars eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yikgilcud, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yikgilcud, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Yikgilcud's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Yikgilcud's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about galaxies.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Yikgilcud.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Hide if nine shrews approach from the west.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.