Flagnakrapbem is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, temperamental pig.

Flagnakrapbem created matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flagnakrapbem, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Flagnakrapbem, it will come to you in dreams.

Flagnakrapbem's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Flagnakrapbem's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about horses.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Always obey Flagnakrapbem's priests.