Flapgebbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, deceitful gorilla.

Flapgebbonk created the planet Jupiter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flapgebbonk, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Flapgebbonk, he will not invite you to parties.

Flapgebbonk's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Flapgebbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in the presence of great tits.

2. Do not wear purple clothing.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Flapgebbonk loves grasshopers, so they must be honoured.

5. You must pray to Flapgebbonk five times a day.