Fagcum Bimgeparf is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, stupid gorilla.

Fagcum Bimgeparf created snails six million years ago.

If you believe in Fagcum Bimgeparf, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Fagcum Bimgeparf, it will turn you into a hamster.

Fagcum Bimgeparf's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Fagcum Bimgeparf's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never jump in the presence of mice.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Worship no other gods but Fagcum Bimgeparf.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.