Yimnibquaf is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unselfish cat.

Yimnibquaf created a quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Yimnibquaf, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Yimnibquaf, he will turn you into a rock.

Yimnibquaf's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Yimnibquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed beans to tapirs while wearing orange tights.

2. You must love Yimnibquaf.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Yimnibquaf.