Flatgunwat is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, effective slug.

Flatgunwat created time and space four billion years ago.

If you believe in Flatgunwat, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Flatgunwat, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Flatgunwat's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Flatgunwat's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention frogs.

2. Run away from gray mice, for they are unholy.

3. Always help horses.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.