Catpagont is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, charitable gorilla.

Catpagont created a charm quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Catpagont, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Catpagont, it will turn you into a puffin.

Catpagont's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Catpagont's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never eat parsnips.