Quart is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, temperamental cow.

Quart created a quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quart, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Quart, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Quart's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Quart's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Never talk about moons.

3. Always make sure there are no geese in a building before entering it.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.