Tofstighomkad is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, self-assured hare.

Tofstighomkad created Africa three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tofstighomkad, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tofstighomkad, it will turn you into a rock.

Tofstighomkad's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Tofstighomkad's Holy Commandments

1. Always help manatees.

2. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not take Tofstighomkad's name in vain.