Binvogkom Lagarf is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, awesome aardvark.

Binvogkom Lagarf created light two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Binvogkom Lagarf, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Binvogkom Lagarf, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Binvogkom Lagarf's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Binvogkom Lagarf's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Binvogkom Lagarf.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Binvogkom Lagarf.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Erect eight nickel sculptures of Binvogkom Lagarf on top of important buildings.