Dotwanbet Nadwatwik is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, capable narwhal.

Dotwanbet Nadwatwik created a charm quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dotwanbet Nadwatwik, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Dotwanbet Nadwatwik, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Dotwanbet Nadwatwik's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Dotwanbet Nadwatwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bananas.

2. You must love Dotwanbet Nadwatwik.

3. Do not eat melons.

4. Do not take Dotwanbet Nadwatwik's name in vain.

5. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.