Funrenhat is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, grumpy squid.

Funrenhat created Africa nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Funrenhat, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Funrenhat, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Funrenhat's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Funrenhat's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always look after injured capybaras.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never laugh in the presence of dogs.