Quimpanlakwottunmipzimdut is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, caring slug.

Quimpanlakwottunmipzimdut created the Cigar Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quimpanlakwottunmipzimdut, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Quimpanlakwottunmipzimdut, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Quimpanlakwottunmipzimdut's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Quimpanlakwottunmipzimdut's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear mauve.

2. Do not wear magenta clothing.

3. Never jump near eagles.

4. Put Quimpanlakwottunmipzimdut first in all things.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.