Bonkkimbit Quafarpjam is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, conceited crane.

Bonkkimbit Quafarpjam created the Small Magellanic Cloud two million years ago.

If you believe in Bonkkimbit Quafarpjam, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bonkkimbit Quafarpjam, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bonkkimbit Quafarpjam's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Bonkkimbit Quafarpjam's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear orange.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Always help birds.

4. Always help sick porpoises.

5. Never wear ear rings.