Yarldinkip is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, cheerful dog.

Yarldinkip created a charm quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarldinkip, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Yarldinkip, he will send you a sign.

Yarldinkip's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Yarldinkip's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never paint your face gray.