Jarnminhud is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, sage parrot.

Jarnminhud created humankind two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnminhud, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Jarnminhud, it will refuse to believe in you.

Jarnminhud's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Jarnminhud's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear gray.

2. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

3. Feed all hungry porpoises.

4. Never paint your legs violet.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.