Renhatpad is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, staggering crow.

Renhatpad created a Higgs boson seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Renhatpad, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Renhatpad, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Renhatpad's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Renhatpad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear titanium on your body.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never run near cats.

5. Never eat aubergines.