Yamcunnil is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, self-assured shark.

Yamcunnil created the planet Venus three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yamcunnil, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Yamcunnil, she will laugh at you.

Yamcunnil's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Yamcunnil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not dye your hair pink.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yamcunnil.

4. Retreat if three seals approach from the north.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.