Tenparkrip is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, generous wyrm.

Tenparkrip created humankind seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tenparkrip, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tenparkrip, he will have a low opinion of you.

Tenparkrip's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Tenparkrip's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Tenparkrip.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not drink water in green rooms.

4. Always treat horses with great respect.

5. Tenparkrip must be the most important thing in your life.