Cunsterbog Zogpagdad is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, flying raccoon.

Cunsterbog Zogpagdad created the Whirlpool Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cunsterbog Zogpagdad, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Cunsterbog Zogpagdad, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Cunsterbog Zogpagdad's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Cunsterbog Zogpagdad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your legs.

2. Do not laugh in public.

3. Hide from yellow birds for they are unholy.

4. Never jump in holy places.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.