Bangessxem is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, loving wombat.

Bangessxem created the world five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bangessxem, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bangessxem, she will turn you into a rock.

Bangessxem's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Bangessxem's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never paint your feet indigo.

5. Erect a large tin sculpture of Bangessxem on top of all buildings.