Bapsandab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, grumpy spider.

Bapsandab created a top quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bapsandab, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bapsandab, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Bapsandab's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Bapsandab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill ants.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never go into violet rooms.

4. Run away from green gulls, for they are unholy.

5. Never play with disobedient children.