Sanapphiv is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, quiet badger.

Sanapphiv created matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sanapphiv, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Sanapphiv, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Sanapphiv's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Sanapphiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt otters.

2. Run away if three ants approach from the west.

3. Do not take Sanapphiv's name in vain.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not skip in public.