Hotcubdag is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, slow goat.

Hotcubdag created the universe nine million years ago.

If you believe in Hotcubdag, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Hotcubdag, he will remove you from existence.

Hotcubdag's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Hotcubdag's Holy Commandments

1. Put Hotcubdag first in all things.

2. Worship no other gods but Hotcubdag.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.