Mapnibgig is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, witty squid.

Mapnibgig created a photon seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Mapnibgig, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Mapnibgig, he will turn you into a rock.

Mapnibgig's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Mapnibgig's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.